TCM identifies two aspects of being – born essence, and unborn essence. Born essence includes all things manifest – your body, mind, thoughts, and that which you take in through your senses. Unborn essence cannot really be substantiated, but we all possess awareness of its existence; outside the senses. We could say it is that which gives rise to potential.

That which is born operates by the generative rules. This could be likened to the scientific law of thermodynamics and inertia, which crudely translated say that any manifest thing is energy; but because it has taken form, it tends toward dissipation of energy. Manifest things have no inherent existence, and thus are merely acted upon my outside forces. Therein contain the laws of science and medicine. You are seen and treated as a distinct and separate physical entity, acted on by outside forces as you move toward disorder.

Yet, because we are not merely masses that degrade in energy, there is another scientific truth which science has more difficulty quantifying. Quantum physics has revealed through studying the most minute particles in existence, that we reach a point where the physical laws no longer apply. As we reach the edges of the perceivable, we come to a spacious expanse where we can only define behavior, or energetic tendencies.

The endocrine system operates via the generative cycle, as it tries to harmonize with its environment. There are measurable reflections of endocrine disorders – high FSH, low AMH, estradiol, etc.  The best we can do with the generative laws of Chinese medicine is to harmonize these patterns to be in balance with the individual’s environment.

The gynecological system, however, which interfaces with a woman’s endocrine system, operates via the laws of the unborn, or the reverse generative cycle. Here we actually can utilize pure potentiality itself, or the unborn essence. We can work with the energy prior to manifestation and tap into the laws of creation. How?

By no longer paying homage to the laws of the manifest world. As you withdraw your truth and governance from the external world of manifest form, your energy literally moves into the potential, where all things are possible.

Most women I work with are so locked into the laws of the physical world; they literally cannot do this on their own. They need help extracting their attention from their fears and limitations, which they have endowed with reality.  Hence, on retreat, it is as if we cease orbiting in our habitual track around an old and impotent reality. As they move from being governed by the physical world, they become empowered by the same force which gives rise to life itself, making all things possible.

Last night I conducted a conference call for Mothers Day; with the intention of opening up the recognition that the essence of motherhood is not confined to those with children. The longing for life opens up the channels of motherhood when one can stay with the intention of the heart and not get carried away by fear and attempts to control.

A therapist friend was on the call as well, who had gone through her own fertility challenges before she had her own biological children at ages 43 and 46, without reproductive intervention.

A woman on the call told us that she came across an email newsletter that said, “Open if you’re a mom.” And it made her mad. How dare anyone limit the opening of a newsletter to those that occupied the role of mom?! Like a dagger to the heart, it had all the elements of making one feel even more desperate and hurt.

So we talked about anger. Should one not get angry when triggered by some external event that reminds one of what they are so desperately trying to do? Should one not feel jealous when those close to them are with child – without even trying? It’s easy to shrink into the small roles of fear, hurt, and sadness, while the biggie – anger – is pushed aside by the judgment, “I shouldn’t be angry.”

My therapist friend talked about anger being a great catalyst for change, for breaking out of confines. TCM gives us two pictograms for anger – one is the image of a fish breaking through water tension to become a bird – indicating breaking out; evolving. Another is the image of a slave woman under a man’s hand, oppressed by circumstances that evoke a sense of breaking out. Let’s reframe. When there is anger, there is anger. Be with yourself with whatever your experience is. When there is jealousy, feel the jealousy. Only then can you break out of the emotional contraction. Let anger be a catalyst for change.

One of the greatest obstructions to fertility is an energetic contraction called Liver Qi Stagnation – mainly caused by unexpressed, unacknowledged emotional states and unfulfilled desires. This keeps the liver from metabolizing hormones, and keeps one physiologically stuck. We do many exercises on retreat to break out of the liver qi stagnation.

What roles, ideals, beliefs and confines do you need to break out of? What confines are holding you back from living your life fully, from pursuing your dreams without limitation?

Be true to yourself and your own experience. Who else will be?