The Abode of Infertility

TCM is not prescriptive; it is applied philosophy. The way one practices is not merely knowing what needle does what; but is a transmission of the state of consciousness through the medium of needles, movement, words, herbs or touch. The power is in the ability to transform from one energetic state to another.

Annie and her husband came to retreat, lost and desperate. Her FSH value had risen to over 100. They were looking for hope. While the connection between the heart and womb was not open (hence the HPO disconnect,) she didn’t need a prescription. She needed to find hope within.

She had been residing in the desperate abode of infertility. Her doctors reinforced this position – poking, prodding and trying to force her ovaries to respond. They didn’t, and her FSH kept rising. As I was going to treat Annie, her whole body bristled with apprehension. She had already been violated enough. I never put a needle in her. We sat and talked about the despair and loss of hope; how she felt her body had let her down; and how deep within she knew there was something she was missing, that her reproductive clinics couldn’t seem to give her.

She said the more she was treated, her doctors reinforced the walls that created this infertile home that she couldn’t get out of.

By the end of Annie’s second retreat, she had vacated the position of infertility patient. She took off the uniform, and didn’t return to the place where she had taken on that identity. She found hope. It was within her all the time. I wrote an herbal formula to open the connection between the heart and the uterus. We came up with meditative exercises to reinforce this opening within. And when she didn’t occupy the position of infertility, it no longer existed for her.

Annie conceived naturally and gave birth to her own child. There is always hope. But the hope isn’t “out there,” nor is it in the future. It comes directly from the space within your own heart, and pours down into your own depths. The uterine/ovarian complex is known as the “palace of the child.” When it receives the life giving power from your own heart, it is the palace of pure, fertile potential.

Which home do you occupy?

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