Archive for March, 2014

Join Dr. Randine Lewis in Florida – April 25-28!

Thursday, March 27th, 2014

Fertile Soul RetreatJacksonville, FL
April 25-28th
$250 off for Individuals
(use the code TFS250)

This retreat will be held at the newly renovated Hampton Inn Oceanfront – Jacksonville Beach, FL. Come and join Dr. Randine Lewis in beautiful and sunny Jacksonville Florida this April and leave your winter blues behind. Located on the white sandy beaches of Jacksonville, you’ll be sure to find some relaxation and rejuvenate on this destination get-a-way! Dr. Randine Lewis, author of the Infertility Cure, has helped thousands of women conceive, through her Fertile Soul retreat programming, both naturally and in partnership with reproductive medicine.

I am writing you bc I attended your retreat back in the spring of 2009.  I was in pure hell with RE & infertility.  I am compelled to share this back with you bc I know so many women are where I was then & I know you can help them.  I was told that I would never carry my own children and a long litany of other bunch of nonsense from one RE to the next.  I had my first child at 36, 11 months later a second, 2 years and 2 days later a THIRD! None of them through infertility treatments.
So I turned 40 and have had some hiccups with my cycle.  GYN says I am perimenopause & is pushing hormone pellets on me.  Went for a second opinion and I AM PREGNANT AGAIN! Hmm pretty big disparity between being pregnant & needing hormone replacement.
Please fellow Fertile Soul Sisters out there do not give up hope! M.

At the April Fertile Soul Retreat, you will spend over 20 hours with Dr. Lewis in lecture, movement and therapeutic group sessions. You will also have an in-depth Chinese medicine consultation on location and a nutrition and lifestyle consultation once home to support you in transitioning all that you learn into your daily life.  Your weekend retreat will end with a therapeutic acupuncture session with Dr. Lewis.
Payment plans are available at no additional cost.  For more details and to sign up please click here.

Grandmothering

Monday, March 24th, 2014

I recently became a grandma. I don’t even know how to talk about this. My grandson isn’t even 1 year old yet. His little personality is only starting to emerge. The love I have for my daughter, his mother, now rests, magnified, on her son. It obviously isn’t that I love him more than her. I couldn’t love anyone more than I love her. But when you are one generation away, you don’t have these bonds of being attached, like you do to your children.

What you don’t like in yourself becomes an obstruction to fully relating with your children. My oldest daughter will be 32 this year. I had her when I was 21. All of the hopes and dreams I had for her from the day I found out I was pregnant became filtered by that which I couldn’t recognize in myself. I loved her more than I loved myself. That, I promise you, is not a statement to be proud of. I could not give her what I didn’t have. So the lack of ability to give her what I wanted to give her turned to guilt. I always thought I could do better, I knew I could do better. I had two more children, when I was 34 and 38. With each one I had the same experience, to a lesser degree. I loved them more than I loved myself.

You can never be the type of mother who is good enough for your children in your own judging eyes. These amazing, perfect beings are always far more deserving than any separate human being can measure up to. And I know I didn’t. I couldn’t measure up because I saw them as different from me.

All three of my children are out of the house now – one in boarding school, one in college, and one married with a family of her own.  So the role of caring for my children’s day-to-day needs is history.

I had the great pleasure of being present for the birth of my grandson. And I have never had a prouder moment in my life, than seeing my daughter being able to bring forth life; watching the power of life’s longing for itself come through her. Her labor was prolonged and difficult. Her husband was a great coach – strong and loving. They were an admirable team. And about 24 hours later, this perfect little boy entered the world.

I can honestly say that I don’t love him more than myself. I love him as myself; as an expression of the love that I am. Without dreams or aspirations, without wondering if I will measure up to the task of being his grandmother. Without wondering if his parents will measure up to the task of being his parents. I watch them being the perfect parents for him, loving themselves through each other, and through him. And I watch in awe, how Kahlil Gibran describes:

Their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

Mothering

Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

Mothering is not a role; it is love. The role of mothering can be from love, but doesn’t have to be. You can look around the world and see women in the roles of mother, whom we can easily judge ought not to have this privilege. Animals, as well, occupy mothering roles as they care for their offspring just until the little ones are capable of surviving on their own.

When the role of motherhood is coveted more than the ability to express our inner love, it can become an energetic obstruction in the body/mind. We want what we don’t have, and don’t want what we have. This produces a tremendous amount of stress in the body/mind, which the energy of love does not produce. At our last retreat, one woman stated that her highest aspiration was to learn to love herself. Within two days, she had recognized and began living from the strength of this self love.

I recently was discussing with a friend of mine how I didn’t occupy the role of motherhood very gracefully, as far as conventional standards go. Each of my three children would agree that I wasn’t a typical cookie, soccer, PTA mom. They would also agree, that I did not put my children first. As much as I was able, their needs were cared for. They were and are fiercely loved. And I hope from this modeling they learned to pattern the ability to always put themselves first. I know this is not highly valued in our society. Women especially are taught that it is esteemed to put others first: your spouse, your family, your children, your boss, your work, your friends, your reputation, etc.

It comes as a great shock to step out of these roles that have become carriers of your esteem. What if you were none of these roles? What if your worth came only from yourself? Some wise sages throughout the ages have made this very declaration:

Be a light unto yourself.

Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven is within.

To thine own self be true.

Do not lie or do what you dislike.

Be as you are.

Attend only to the sense of your own being.

Can you imagine what it would be like if you were to be fully and wholeheartedly responsible only to the truth within? You would be responsible for your life, your health, your fertility, your happiness. Do you really want this? When one learns to live from this inner truth, the world tends not to be so problematic. Our minds tend not to cause us disturbance. But the price is we no longer can blame anyone or anything for our unhappiness.