Archive for January, 2011


Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

The physical blueprint provides a dense pattern through which the child’s life will unfold, according to the genetics passed on through the parents’ ancestry. Yet this is only a starting point. What the being does with this blueprint will determine the expression of her own DNA throughout life. The physical vehicle is not static, but will respond to how we view and care for the unfolding of our life story.

The major blueprint onto which your child’s life will be laid, however, is much more than her genetic blueprint, but one which comes before manifestation into the physical realm. This invisible structure is the deepest pattern onto which the soul directs her intention throughout life, causing an unfolding of the soul’s purpose, and an overlay of divine rationale in her life.

The soul is here for a purpose, or Zhi, according to the five element spiritual philosophy; the reason for her incarnation. This will become the determinant of the life issues that your child will most likely encounter during her lifetime, if provided the freedom to do so. Parents are chosen that will provide the optimal environment and life circumstance for her to find and express her purpose. The pre-birth choices the soul makes, combined with the essence of the parents will form the embryonic vehicle which will become the home for the soul’s energy to incarnate for its task.

If and when she is able to find and align her life along with her purpose for incarnating, then she will be able to offer that gift to the world. That is the full reason for being: to discover one’s purpose, overcome the lessons surrounding that purpose, and then offer its gift to the world. The life plan that will unfold contains numerous probable realities, which will allow for a multitude of choices to express free will and create one’s own reality.
These life issues may have to do with simply learning to love onesself, and then offering that to the world. They may have to do with leadership, creativity, learning to connect with another at the level of the soul, learning to give up material satisfactions for spiritual advancement, or helping those less fortunate than oneself. Once an individual finds her Zhi, she pulls forth her soul’s purpose through her own intention to live from her highest state of being, that of the Shen, shining the light of spirit through her actions to help the world.


Look for the answers to these questions deep inside; deeper than your intellect. There is an aspect of you, actually the largest and most vast aspect of you, which is all knowing, and has all the answers that you are looking for. This totality of your being has an innate understanding; this deep, irrefutable wisdom is beyond anything you have learned to believe. It is always present within you when you can learn to move into the deep stillness of your being. It is your soul. It came into this existence through no effort on your own, and no matter what stories you have been told, it wasn’t your parent’s effort which caused you to manifest into this life.

Explore your answers to the following questions to begin to shine the light of awareness on your own beliefs about the incarnation of a soul. As you reveal the answers to these questions, be aware of where these beliefs came from. Were they told to you by somebody? Are their origins religious or cultural? And most importantly, do they resonate with the deepest aspect of yourself? If not, can you change them?

What do I believe about incarnation? Is it a soul? Where does it come from?

Who/what is responsible?

God, spirit, the soul, my soul, my physical body?

How do I see myself entering into the decision for a new being to come through my body and into my life?

When does the decision to incarnate occur?

Is there a process or is it an event?

Does my worthiness come in to play? My past? Anything I’ve done or left undone?

Does the being choose its parents, its environment, culture, race, religion or its lifestyle

How important are the parents’ ancestry or genetics in taking form?

Who determines the life purpose of the soul wishing to manifest?

Do I feel a soul comes into this life to learn something?

What is the most important thing I have learned through this process?

Have I found my purpose in this life?

Do I believe there an evolution in the soul’s consciousness? If so, what factors determine it?

Do I feel I can intuitively communicate with a soul before it incarnates?

Can I play a role the soul’s incarnation?


How do I feel I can enhance the process of opening to new life?

Close your eyes, breathe deeply and look deep within. Consider your past journey to conceive. It has been exactly what it has supposed to be to this point. Now consider the following questions:

When I look at my future life, with or without a child in it, what is the most important thing I have learned about life so far?

If I could communicate with the essence of my yet unborn child and ask it what it needs from me, what would its response be?


Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

The concept of “letting go” doesn’t make a lot of sense in fertility circles.
I remember at one retreat a few years ago, a woman said, “I didn’t come here to learn to let go; I came here to learn how to have a baby!”, like one would preclude the other.

I think the misconception is that we have to stop desiring a child before we can let go. That is absolutely not the case. So, can we let go while we still carry the desire so dearly?

Of course. We are talking about letting go of the illusion of control. The attempt to control the outcome actually puts us into a state of Cortisol dominance, decreasing the likelihood of conception. I remember taking my temperature, checking in with EVERY little symptom my body was having and peeing on pregnancy tests as if my mind could control the outcome. I thought if I was concerned about it all the time, said positive affirmations, and researched until I found the “missing piece” that I could somehow think my way into a pregnancy. But, alas, life beat me into the truth. The more I attempted to think and control my way into pregnancy, the more it eluded me.

I remember talking to another woman at retreat, who said, “You mean I don’t have to think positively? What a relief!” She had been told that she had to think positively in order for an IVF to work. And she thought herself right into a state of denial. Denying all of the negative thoughts inside of her – the fear that it might not work, the anger and frustration at her doctor’s negativity… and some well-meaning friend told her all she had to do was think positively and it would happen. Now, I am a firm believer in the power of intention, but not when what is simmering beneath the positive exterior is seething anger, deep sorrow, and unacknowledged fear. Those negative emotions send out their messages of contraction far stronger than a weak attempt at putting on a happy, positive face.

Control sends out messages like this: I want it (clenched control); I can’t have it (fear, inward contraction); I’ll do everything ‘right’ (clenched determination); I’m afraid I’ll never achieve it (fear, contraction); I’ll try harder (struggle), find a more aggressive doctor (fight/flight response)…
You get the picture. The message sent out into the field of awareness is “NO BABY, NO BABY, NO BABY!” And guess what comes back to us? More no baby.

So, here’s the hard part… how does one let go? The answer isn’t a how to. If you are “how to”-ing you aren’t letting go. You are trying. The subtle difference is in the moment. Attempts to control and manipulate the outcome are projections into the future.
I can feel myself clench up when I even think about ‘trying’ to let go. Here’s a novel approach – ask yourself, how am I supporting the moment? How am I fully embracing the truth of what I am experiencing right now? Fear, anger, sorrow, hope, and all. Am I acknowledging the truth of my experience so I can move into a higher state? Am I able to accept where I am and then release the so called negative emotions from my body? And then can I stand in the naked truth of the moment, fully knowing that I can’t control the outcome, but I’m willing to take the next step anyway? Take a deep breath. Feel the difference?

From this place, I can recognize all kinds of subtle differences in my energy. My heart opens. I am in the place where miracles can occur, because I am no longer fighting them with my worry and anxiety. This is the place where life can come in. And it comes in all the time when I adopt this non-stance. Life lives me.

I’m no longer trying to have children. They are already here. But guess if my attempts to control them have gone away? Nope. When I attempt to impose my ‘rightness’ onto them, they prove to me what I have projected onto them – that they can’t do it. Yet, when I can fully support them in the moment, and express my own honest truth about wishing them to be elsewhere, the fight drops away. They step into their highest selves. And once again, I don’t have to keep up the illusion of control. I can be one soul interacting with another. And life lives them, too.